Joshua Gizelt (swashbuckler332) wrote,
Joshua Gizelt

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"Step right up, test your strength!"

You Are Rum

You're the life of the party, and a total flirt
You are also pretty picky about what you drink
Only the finest labels and best mixed cocktails will do
Except if you're dieting - then it's Diet Coke and Bicardi
all the way

Good call. I am all about the finest labels, I am discovering. Mmmmm... Goslings.

You Are Not Scary

Not Scary!

Everyone loves you. Isn't that sweet?

You Should Be a Girl Scout for Halloween!

You Should Be a Girl Scout for Halloween!

Agh! Can you imagine me dressed as a girl scout!?! It's too disturbing!

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read.
Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few.

Now, this was technically not a meme, but I responded to each topic, figuring that enough of the people that would read this would find it pretty apropos:

You Know You're Addicted to LotR When...

You start quoting from the movie as part of regular conversation.


You like to tell your mom that you are hungry by quoting: "Merry, I'm hungry."

She used to just laugh, but now she says, "What would you like to eat, Pippin?"

You continually ask your parents for second breakfast.

Well, I don't live at home anymore, so the last three are kind of moot, but... well... I would. Mom knows that.

All the staff at your local cinema knows you by your first name and even before you open your mouth to speak, they say "Ticket for 'Fellowship of The Ring?'"

Groan. At least I know I'm not the only one.

You hate Burger King food, butyou ate nothing else for a month to get the toys.


You've crammed up your computer's memory by downloading every single screensaver from

You wander around the house in a knee length nightie, pyjama trousers and an unfastened dressing gown (to give you a train). You are trying to be an elf, and actually manage to forget that the nightie is blue with dolphins, the trousers have teddies on and the dressing gown is tartan.

No, but I think the writer of this needs to give suitboyskin a call.

Your Lord of the Rings shirt has not yet met the washing machine.


You don't have enough money to buy groceries for the next week before payday, yet you charge £50 on your credit card to get a three year charter membership in the official LOTR fan club. Who needs food anyway?

Well, if I had any money...

You refer to parts of your town as parts of Middle-Earth.

You wear hobbitish clothing as part of your normal wardrobe.

Comfortable, with as little footwear as weather permits? Yeah.

You sometimes let your hair go curly after a wash, and then run around the house in bare feet yelling "I'm a hobbit!"

Well, my hair goes bananas if I don't get it cut for a while, I always walk around the house in bare feet, and I don't state the obvious.

You hate it when Elves are only thought of as 'Santa's little helpers' and have tried to explain the difference between Santa-elves and Syrian Elves to your 5-year old cousins.

No, but I did spend a few minutes explaining that Gollum is not a troll to my 32-year old cousin. Does that count?

You speak in Quenya just to annoy your friends.

You refer to regular elephants as oliphaunts.

While buttering a piece of bread, you suddenly think of Bilbo (remember when he was talking to Gandalf about feeling tired) saying that he felt 'like butter spread over too much bread.'

You renamed your car the Wraith-mobile.

Oh, that's a good one...

You have a replica of The One Ring.

What can I say? It came with both Lord of the Rings Risk and Lord of the Rings monopoly.

You are beginning to resemble a panda due to the fact that you've stayed up until 2 am reading and re-reading the great books.

You actually managed to read the Silmarillion without being tempted to give up on this whole middle earth malarkey.

Okay... this is a bone of contention I have. I have The Silmarillion, and use it as a reference when reading the books. That's what I think it's for. All of those "Well, I read The Silmarillion from cover to cover" dorks can kiss my ass.

You now have a lifetime fear of black horses!

You haven't removed the soundtrack from your CD player since you bought it.

Damn skippy. Howard Shore is a god.

You have sssudenly developed a hisssing lisssp every time you sssay the letter ssss.

You have looked both on the net and in the phone book to see if archery and sword fighting lessons are offered in your area.

You have begun calling your husband / wife / girlfriend/ boyfriend / animal or kid my precioussss.

Do my drugs count?

You happily traveled over an hour to the next town to see "it" because that theater has a better sound system than the one 5 minutes down the road.

You have called every theatrical or specialty makeup company in town looking for pointy ear or hairy feet prosthetics.

You've worn your plastic "one ring" that came on your Legolas bookmark so much the gold is completely worn off.

Well, it was a Balroc bookmark.

You've begun drafting a letter to the Webster's dictionary people requesting that they include "Ringers" in their next edition.

At Christmas time relatives find you chatting with the tree and sharing eggnog draughts.

Single ads with the description, "short plump and big hairy feet" seem much more appealing.

You know The LoTR history better then your family history.

My family has a history?

You have a mouse named Frodo, a bird named Gollum, and a dog named Gandalf. And that cat that keeps coming around to be petted is Legolas.

You know Elvish better then English.

Whenever something goes wrong, it's Sauron's fault.

When you sing in the shower, it's always about Gil-Galad or hobbit walking songs...

You know everything about Middle Earth geography, but you can't get someone from your house to the ice cream parlor. Now the nearest movie theater, that is a different story.

You think the names of the 7 dwarves from Snow White are: Gimli, Gloin, Thorin, Gili, Nili, Ori, and Bambour.

Kili and Fili?

You have developed your own special Tolkien handwriting. "A firm, flowing script..."

Words like "Yrch" make sense to you.

You've become strangely obsessed with mushrooms.

Whenever you close a door, you say "They have a cave troll!"

When you come to a dead end you're still convinced that the road goes ever on and on.

There's a sign on your door saying "Speak Friend and enter!"

Whenever you get a chance, you burst into song. Preferably one that has more than 20 verses.

I always knew "Sympathy for the Devil" was a hobbit song...

You change your name by deed poll to a Tolkien character and seriously consider naming your children after LOTR characters.

Groan. I've though about it.

Every time you see birds in the sky you have the urge to say "Fly you fools!"

When someone knocks on your door you grab them, pull them inside and ask "Are you frightend?... Not nearly frightend enough!"

Your computer's screensaver is a marquee reading, "Ennyn Durin atan Moria: pedo mellon a mino" and the password is actually "mellon".

Um... no, but my wallpaper is a map of Middle-Earth. Isn't the Elvish word "Bellon?"

You cannot see a beer without blurting out "It comes in pints? I'm getting one!"

You just can't keep yourself from saying "nobody tosses a Dwarf" at inappropriate moments.

What if I tossed Dwarves at inappropriate moments?

A shadow and a threat is growing in your mind.

You now referring to your friends as your 'Fellowship' and insist that you have epic adventures.

You stand in the doorway and tell your cat that he 'Can not pass'.

You wash your face in the sink and expect to see things that are, that have been or that will be.

I do. Really.

Your wedding band has started to weigh you down with it's evil powers.

No, but several of my married friends have related this to me...

Spending $35 at the grocery store seems expensive but its perfectly fine to spend $70 on the Hardcover LOTR book with Alan Lee Illustrations.

You start keeping a LOTR Journal to write poems and inklings in.

I was going to say that I don't do this, but then I took a good look at my memories page...

You face every difficult decision with the thought "now what would Gandalf advise me to do?"

More like, "What would Theoden do?" but close enough...

You know what Entmoot, Ent draught, or an Ent is for that matter.

You've gained 20 pounds because you've started eating a "Second Breakfast"

A walking stick... you never leave home with out it.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Lord of the Rings.

Well, that's what this is, ain't it?

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Tags: memes

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