Joshua Gizelt (swashbuckler332) wrote,
Joshua Gizelt

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...and that's why we call him "Douchebag"

The good news is that my tax return will be a sufficient windfall to allow me to purchase a new car. I will not be getting this money for a month or two, so I will be carless for that period of time.

Being carless has several disadvantages, but they are not so pressing as I work in Manhattan. There's little that I may need to do or have that I can't take care of there, and I do live within walking distance of two grocery stores, so my basic needs are met without a car. This does not alter the fact that having a car makes life much more convenient. For one thing, it means that I don't have to spend hours getting out to Long Island to see my family and friends out here, or hours getting home.

So instead I try to make plans to get as much done in a weekend that I spend out here as possible. I mean, once I'm here, I want to make it count. I came out here this weekend primarily to help Dan move, but Ryan "Douchebag" had called me and we talked about playing some poker today. He had spoken to Mad Mike about it, who was down. Mad Mike and I were talking about it yesterday, both of us assuming that these were plans.

Douchebag, however, was only making tentative plans. He called me and Mike, and then didn't follow through. It seems that he doesn't quite get the fact that it is a hassle for me to come out here for a weekend. Mad Mike would have given me a ride home to Queens last night, but I stayed at my parents' figuring that I had plans. I now find out that I didn't necessarily have those plans. So now I'm stuck out here, probably to take the train home, and it looks like it's going to rain/snow.

I told him that he ought to put this thing together and call me, but I don't expect him to at this point. I expect he'll just tell his wife that I got pissy about something and drop it. The worst part about it is that even if only Mike and I showed up, that would still be four players, which is enough to start a game, right?

Fuckin' Douchebag.

* * *

If that wasn't enough:

WAL-MART announced this morning that they will soon be offering customers a new discount item: Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2 - $5 range.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for cheap wine", said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at the University of Arkansas.

She said: "But the right name is important." Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the Wal-Mart brand. The top surveyed names in order of popularity are:

10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. Grape Expectations
1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

Everybody knows about that mirror in the back of a Wal-Mart that allows you to destroy it, right?

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