Joshua Gizelt (swashbuckler332) wrote,
Joshua Gizelt

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Assorted miscellany before the service

Sorry I missed your calls, suitboyskin. Today is a very big day, and I've been told that nodding off during the service is not permissible. For all those who are disappointed that they may be missing the Bar Mitzvah itself, don't be. A Bar Mitzvah is kind of like listening to Vogon poetry, only in Hebrew.

* * *

My brother has picked up this annoying thing where he makes noises like a sea lion. At first this infuriated me, then I found it funny, and now he's got me doing it. Little shit.

* * *

Are shower heads really alien probes designed to extract bits of raw unconcious from the human mind? I ask because I must admit that I myself am sometimes surprised at the weirdness that comes out of my mouth while I'm in the shower. I'm serious. And I know for a fact that other people say bizarre things when they shower as well. The most accomplished singer sounds like a hoarse crooner in the shower. What's up with that?

I'd be more offended if a good, hot shower wasn't so important to my well-being.

* * *

Zach just sat down on the couch and came away with the back of his suit jacket coated with dog hair. My mother just had a heart attack.
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