Joshua Gizelt (swashbuckler332) wrote,
Joshua Gizelt

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The Mother's Day After

I am still scraping off some of the more stubborn brain cell stains from the ones that splattered on the ceiling of my cranial cavity.

My mother's perserverence and attention to detail paid off, and as far as I could tell, everybody but my Uncle left the party happy, and that's his own damn fault.

The decorations were roundly complimented (pictures to follow soon, for those who care) and the food was fantastic. The cocktail hour had several tables including a carving station, a pasta area, a Middle Eastern area... there was even some chopped liver on one table (we're Jews, we like that sort of thing). There was also a kid's station with hot dogs, hamburgers and tacos, which I thought was quite brilliant.

Proper Instruction in the Use of
Inflatable Cetaceans

One must approach any melee situation with a keen eye for available weaponry and an ability to adapt existing resources to best advantage. There are times in any combat theater where unconventional arms may become necessary. When observing a new prospective weapon, one must first determine how an item of its particular qualities can best be wielded.

Should a violent altercation occur and the only available means of defense are balloon dolphins, such as if one is attacked with a large inflatable palm tree, it is recommented that in terms of form and practice that the dolphins be wielded as twin scimitars. The curve of the cetacean should point towards the wielder's body. This allows for more easy handling as well as allowing for maximum damage from the dorsal fin.

In general, one must rely upon said fin to visit damage to the opponent; the nasal point is best used as a blunt hit to render the opponent unable to counterattack.

If you accomplish nothing else today, then you've at least learened this valuable lesson.
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