December 22nd, 2006

Bangs (Almost Famous)

Naked On A Motorcycle

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The Tuesday that History came out, a radio station called the store to publicize the album. They got Douchebag. The only reason he was never penalized for this was because they forgot to identify themselves when they got him on the phone.
DONOVAN: Hello, Tower Records, can I help you?
CALLER: Hello, we were wondering how the new Michael Jackson album History is doing.
DONOVAN: Not too well. In fact, this copy right now is the first one I'm selling.
CALLER: (disappointed) Oh... well, why do you think that might be?
DONOVAN: I don't know, maybe because Michael Jackson sucks now?
CALLER: (uncomfortable laugh) Okay, thank you.
This was broadcast live.




Two little girls that made a video to enter into the Marilyn Manson video contest. I don't know what they were thinking. Eleven-year-olds shaking their asses into a camera to the tune of "Sweet Dreams are Made of This." Not the most persuasive entry, I would think...

Do not touch! Lenny chocolate cake!

Marty: (wondering why a bunch of us were sitting in Layne's office) What's going on in here?
Buckler: We got your mom in here naked.

The sign Lenny wrote and posted on the TicketMaster when the Bush babies were waiting overnight to see Bush...

One of the girls at Yogurt N' Sluts gave Charlié, one of our security guards, a tab of acid on his break. He'd never done it before and didn't know that's what she gave him, and he spent the rest of the day tripping in recieving. He watched the hand trucks dance and the picture of Jackie Chan that Jerry had over his desk try to punch him out.

Gabor, the heroin addict that George the security guard nabbed. He made a break for it out the back door of recieving, but he was captured by an off-duty cop. When brought back into the store and restrained, he was shouting "I have a weak heart! You're stepping on my heart!!!"

Layne had a picture of herself on the wall in a pool somewhere. Every week we added a shark fin and some people coming out of her mouth.


Cross posted to MySpace.
Tuco (The Good the Bad & the Ugly)


Despite the vast improvements in picture quality that the DVD format (and now HDTV as well) offers, I have to say that I am quite glad that I still have my laserdisc player. There are a few things that I have in this format that I prize.

  • Criterion Collection The Adventures of Baron Munchausen and The Fisher King with Terry Gilliam commentaries and additional special features. And amazing sound that I know those Columbia DVDs couldn't possibly compete with.

  • Looking for Richard, Al Pacino's riff on playing Richard III isn't available on DVD.

  • Criterion Collection Blade Runner, with the international cut. I also have the Warner edition of the so-called "Director's Cut." Both are in CAV. I've never bought Blade Runner on DVD... I may next year when the big box set gets released.

  • Brewster McCloud, one of Robert Altman's quirkiest films, which needs to be seen in widescreen.

  • Criterion Collection Taxi Driver with terrific commentary by Martin Scorsese and Paul Schrader and, even better, Bernard Herrmann's iconic (and final) score isolated.

  • Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse. Shouldn't that have been part of that "Complete Dossier" package...? Anybody...? Bueller...?

  • Criterion Collection Bram Stoker's Dracula, which may not be my favorite movie ever, but the features sure are a lot of fun.

  • The "Definitive Collection" CAV edition of The Star Wars Trilogy, which has a myriad of great features (although the commentary tracks are badly organized), a copy of The Creative Impulse and linear PCM audio tracks that blow the anemic Dolby Digital sound on the DVDs out of the water. Too bad they don't look that great anymore.

  • Criterion Collection SE7EN and The Game, both of which have fantastic features; both have been issued on DVD, but the former has different material from the "Platinum Series" DVD. I should also mention that the Criterion SE7EN was the only source for a proper transfer of the film until the "Platinum Series" disc came out due to the silver retention process.

  • Pioneer Special Edition Amadeus, which came with the beautiful insert book The Mozart Firmament and the entire soundtrack album on two discs (originally issued as a double LP with an "additional music" LP coming afterwards) remastered in 24 bit sound. I have the DVD of the "Director's Cut," so this is also the only form I own the theatrical version of the film in.

  • Eddie Murphy Delerious, which is not legally available on DVD.

I've been dying to watch Persona for months, but I seem to have loaned my copy out to somebody somewhere. It wasn't here when I organized my DVDs. This is annoying, as I have been planning to write a piece on Bergman and Altman (whose Images and Three Women are among the few American films to really address the concept of identity in such a gritty manner.
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