Joshua Gizelt (swashbuckler332) wrote,
Joshua Gizelt

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Heckling from the Balcony

A brief moment of Zen for you:

"Old generals never die. They just fade away."
- Douglas MacArthur

"Old golfers never die. They just lose all their balls."
- Anon

"Gimli? What are you doing here?"

Kingdom of Heaven

EDIT: This negative review is of the theatrical version of the film. I had an almost opposite reaction to the Director's Cut, which I strongly recommend!

It's really big and obnoxious. The battle sequences kick major ass. The acting is all good. It's a big mess, with some really nice aspects and some really dumb ones, plus, I kept feeling like it was recycled from a bunch of other, better films. Several plotlines are just silly and go nowhere (or maybe Ridley Scott couldn't resist the oh-so-droll pun of having Orlando Bloom make the desert bloom or something). Ghassan Massoud and Alexander Siddig (or whatever he's calling himself today) are the most interesting characters in the movie, but it's also fun to watch Jeremy Irons, David Thewlis, Liam Neeson, Marton Csokas and Brendan Gleeson nibble at the scenery. It's nice scenery, too. Arthur Max brings the same stateliness to it that he brought to Gladiator and Horrible.

Orlando Bloom is decent enough as the protagonist. The problem is that the film is horribly written that he's just too... damn... he's just so ludicrously virtuous that I was getting diabetes. Like in Gladiator, the characters toss around concepts of honor with Bloom being the example, but his decisions are always too easy. Each character in the film has a scene in which they learn the true worth of Bloom's character... and it gets really tiresome after a while. William Monahan's script is lazily written, and so it feels like Bloom goes from being a blacksmith to defending the Holy City way too easily.

Edward Norton plays the Baldwin, the Leper King, and he wears a mask. The film plays fast and loose with history, but it never develops the kind of kinetic identification that made Gladiator work as well as it did to justify the changes. The music Harry Gregson-Williams wrote for the film is okay, but it is constantly being upstaged by some of Scott's temp track (yawn... this again?). Graeme Revell's music from The Crow: City of Angels and Marco Beltrami's aggressive score from Blade II both appear... but the most ill-fitting piece is definitely the cue stolen from Jerry Goldsmith's The Thirteenth Warrior, which really sticks out and is badly edited. John Mathieson's Super 35 photography is okay, but nowhere near the dazzling results one expects from a Ridley Scott film.

Overall, I'd say its an entertaining enough movie, but more of a rental on a quiet night when you want to polish off a bottle of wine than a must-see. It sounded really good, though.

You scored 65% Muppet maniac, 50% True fan, 24% Wanabe, and 22% Ignorance!

You are Waldorf!
You ar guilty of the odd bout of absolute ignorance. But it is no
matter as you score highly with Muppet Mania. Quite an unusual case as
...... well to be quite frank this outcome baffles me.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 66% on Muppet maniac
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 0% on True fan
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 16% on Wanabe
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 83% on Ignorance
Link: The Marvellous Muppets Test written by curlybird on OkCupid Free Online Dating

Your Deadly Sins

Sloth: 60%

Greed: 40%

Envy: 0%

Gluttony: 0%

Lust: 0%

Pride: 0%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You will die with your hand down your underwear, watching Star Trek.

You see, I've been telling suitboyskin this for two years now, he won't believe me.

You scored as El Barrio. "El Barrio" is the name given to the area lying between Fifth Avenue on the west, the East River on the east and 96th Street on the south. It's also call "Spanish Harlem" and... um "Spa Ha"

It's a pretty neighborhood with lots of little junky gardens and kids playing in the street.

It helps to know a little spanish. Most of the people in this area are Dominican.

Thanks for taking my test! -Susan


El Barrio


Financial District/Battery Park




Upper West Side/ Morningside Heights


Hell’s Kitchen/ Theatre District


China Town




Stuyvesant Town




Upper East Side


SoHo/ TriBeCa


Washington Heights


Alphabet City


Kips Bay


Which neighborhood in Manhattan is best for you?
created with

Since having bought the soundtrack album from Sideways last Friday, I have found myself listening to it quite often. It is truly a wonderful listen, and the album is beautifully structured. Alexander Payne talks about the influence of Italian film composers in the liner notes, but I would also point to Lalo Schifrin. Kent has a breezy style of his own, though, and the music is very lyrical. There are moments of great beauty in it as well.

With repeated listenings, this is gradually eclipsing Election as my favorite Rolfe Kent score for Payne.

* * *

Aw, shit!

I'm going to be late for class!
Tags: cinema, film music, harry gregson-williams, memes

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