Joshua Gizelt (swashbuckler332) wrote,
Joshua Gizelt
swashbuckler332

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♫ I shot a Salvation Army Santa in Reno just to watch him die ♪

I don't watch television. I have nothing against television shows and am happy enough to catch up to them on DVD, but I really just can't stand commercials. When I am at home, I do have cable nor an antennae, and so I couldn't watch television even if I wanted to. I did have cable for a period of three months, but I only ever watched the occasional documentary on the History or Discovery channels. I therefore determined that cable was not worth the money to reinvest in. Even though we have a cable hook up at work, all that really means is that Charlie watches Sportscenter, Dre watches the Food Network, Pete watches Star Trek and sometimes we catch the Three Stooges or Abbott and Costello.

This has meant that in recent years, I have been able to be blissfully oblivious to what happens to television when the holiday season comes around. Instead, for me the season is marked by the change in weather, the Norman Rockwellesque decor of the stores in Manhattan, snow and the scent of pine. I can deal with this.

What I can not deal with is what happens on the commercial breaks this time of year. Promo spots for lame made-for-television Christmas movies that will be blissfully forgotten in next year's onslaught of lame made-for-television Christmas movies. Ads for diamonds that remind you that half your yearly salary will get you laid for a while. Commercials for expensive liquors that only get sold around this time of year because they taste rancid but have exotic coloring. SUVs gracefully gliding through snow flurries although they have a tendency to fishtail and kill you in the depicted weather. Station promos featuring a racially diverse smiling group of trendy friends waving at you. Santa touting motor oil. Commercials that adapt Christmas carols as jingles.

I was bored and switched on the television to see if there might have been something to engage me, and I found myself bombarded with every single one of these examples. I mean, I know that we're a hopeless consumer culture, but do they have to be so damn obvious about it?

It's disgusting.
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