Joshua Gizelt (swashbuckler332) wrote,
Joshua Gizelt

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Dibs on Mau'Dib

My manager gave me a gift certificate for yesterday, so I pre-ordered the new DVD of Dune, my excitement for which I discussed earlier (not long after my operation). I popped online to find out if any more information had been released on it. Other than the removal of the DTS track from this release, nothing has, so my hopes that this would be Lynch's cut of the film have plummeted...

The Bad Dale does heated battle with Baron Charles Frankenstein

...however, I'm really annoyed that there is a rumor that the film is supposed to be five hours long. There are a bunch of people out there who have heard that Lynch's director's cut was that length and are perpetuating the idea that only a five hour version of the film would be the correct length. That's a bunch of crap. His first assembly was five hours long, but this was never supposed to be a version of the film that anybody would actually see. It was his "kitchen sink" edit of the film, and his expectation was to bring it down to around three hours. This was an unacceptable length at the time for a mainstream film (ah, how naïve they were so long ago to think that the bladder barrier was so short), and so the theatrical version of the film was what ended up being the best way to tell the story with the material at hand. While I would love to have seen Lynch's original edit from the point of view of a fan of the film, that's not what I would want to watch.

Nice Brian O'Blivion, suitboyskin! I just watched the commentary track for The Limey last night as well, before I went to bed early (sorry, if I had known you were working I wouldn't have).

1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are "covered in bees".
2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology".
4. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
5. I am not allowed to attempt to breed a liger.
6. I will not go to class skyclad.
7. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
8. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I was hardcore".
9. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
10. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. "Polishing my wand" in the common room is not.
11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
12. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
13. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
14. I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today's project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.
15. Adding the name "Bueller" to Professor Binns' roster is not funny.
16. "Springtime for Voldemort" is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.
17. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".
18. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as "bookends".
19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as "bookends".
20. The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror."
21. It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Professor Lupin that "Once you go Black, you never go back."
22. I will not call Lucius Malfoy "Jareth".
23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
24. I am not to refer to the Potions classroom as "Kitchen Stadium".
25. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to "Get a room" whenever they start to fight.
26. The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason.
27. I am not a tribble Animagus.
28. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.
29. I do not weigh the same as a duck.
30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
31. Sirius Black is not #24601.
32. I will not lick Trevor.
33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
34. I am not being repressed.
35. Calling Lucius Malfoy "Luscious Mouthful" is just plain gross.
36. I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".
37. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.
38. I am not a Pinball Wizard.
39. Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.
40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.
41. I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.
42. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.
43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.
44. Sir Cadogan is not one of the knights who say "NI".
45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.
46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".
47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
48. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"
49. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.
50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

Public Meme Service Announcement

Oh, I found out what questions 17 and 18 were in that meme I took yesterday. I have edited my entry to reflect discovery of said questions. They are...
17) Compared to this time last year, are you:
A) happier or sadder?
B) thinner or fatter?
C) richer or poorer?

18) What do you wish you'd done more of?

i know how you feel, i just don't care.

Who's Your Happy Bunny?
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You are Prongs (James Potter)! You are the leader
of the group. You are very out-going and
admired, but try to be nicer to Snape. Maybe
he wouldn't hate Harry so much.

Which of the Marauders (Harry Potter) are you?
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Wow, do you know Monty Python! I applaud you and
give my utmost respect. It's not every day you
meet a true Python fan! Well Done you twit!

How much do you know Monty Python?
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buffy and angel
So you really know your stuff keep it up and youll
be the all time champion of the world. And when
you die they can put your name on a head stone
and say *your name* she or he saved the world a

Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (who said what on Buffy)?
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Obsessed with LOTR
You know Lord of the Rings a little too well!

How well do you know Lord of the Rings movie trilogy?
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You're a Wizard! (Well, a good one, at least.)
Wizards are immortal beings, very wise and
experienced. P.S. Gandalf loves toffees.

Which of J.R.R. Tolkien's Magical Creatures from the Lord of the Rings Trilogy Are You?
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And everybody should take this one, just for shits and giggles and hot pink toenail polish...

Congrats! You really know how to piss people off!
Tee-hee, waiting to try some of this on
unsuspecting relatives? I know I am.

Could you piss Lord Elrond off?
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So there.
Tags: cinema, david lynch, harry potter, lord of the rings, memes
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