Joshua Gizelt (swashbuckler332) wrote,
Joshua Gizelt
swashbuckler332

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The JAMES BOND Files



BEST BOND FILM
On Her Majesty's Secret Service

WORST BOND FILM
License to Kill

MOST UNDERRATED BOND FILMS
Octopussy
The Living Daylights

GUILTY PLEASURE BOND FILM
The Man With the Golden Gun

SILLIEST BOND FILM
Moonraker

BEST BOND
Sean Connery

MOST FLEMING BOND
Timothy Dalton in The Living Daylights

BEST BLOFELD
Donald Pleasance in You Only Live Twice

BEST VILLIANS
Auric Goldfinger (Gert Frobe) in Goldfinger
Francisco Scaramanga (Christopher Lee) in The Man With the Golden Gun

BEST HENCHMEN
Oddjob (Harold Sakata) in Goldfinger
Red Grant (Robert Shaw) in From Russia With Love

BEST WILD CARD VILLIANS
Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd (Bruce Glover and Putter Smith, respectively)
Bambi and Thumper (Donna Garrett and Trina Parks, respectively)
...both from Diamonds Are Forever

MOST UNDIGNIFIED MOMENT
Blofeld (Charles Grey) in drag in Diamonds Are Forever

BEST BOND DIRECTOR
Terrence Young

MOST OBNOXIOUS BOND DIRECTOR
Lewis Gilbert

BEST BOND SCREENWRITER
Richard Maibaum

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
The Spy Who Loved Me, shot by Claude Renoir
Goldeneye, shot by Phil Meheux

MOST IMPRESSIVE SETS
The fanciful (and totally illogical) Fort Knox in Goldfinger
The awe-inspiring SPECTRE mountain lair in You Only Live Twice
The title character's fetishistic bedroom in Octopussy
...all designed by Ken Adam

COMPOSER OF THE JAMES BOND THEME
John Barry, as should be obvious from listening to "Bee's Knees" and anything he had written around that time for his orchestra and the John Barry Seven. Monty Norman is an untalented old hack with a contractual credit to the theme and nothing else.

BEST MUSIC SCORE
On Her Majesty's Secret Service by John Barry

WORST MUSIC SCORE
Goldeneye by Eric Serra

BEST NON-BARRY BOND COMPOSER
David Arnold

BEST MUSICAL SETPIECE
"Dawn Raid on Fort Knox" from Goldfinger

BEST USE OF THE JAMES BOND THEME
The finale of On Her Majesty's Secret Service

BEST USE OF THE "007" THEME
The climax of Thunderball

BEST TITLE SONG
"Goldfinger" Performed by Shirley Bassey; Music by John Barry, Lyrics by Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley

WORST TITLE SONG
"Tomorrow Never Dies" Performed by Sheryl Crow; Written by Sheryl Crow and Mitchell Froom

BEST SECONDARY SONGS
"Mr. Kiss-Kiss, Bang-Bang" (from Thunderball) Performed by Dionne Warwick or Shirley Bassey; Music by John Barry, Lyrics by Leslie Bricusse
"Surrender" (from Tomorrow Never Dies Performed by k.d. lang; Music by David Arnold and David McAlmont, Lyrics by Don Black

WORST SECONDARY SONG
"Do You Know How Christmas Trees Are Grown" (from On Her Majesty's Secret Service) Performed by Nina; Music by John Barry, Lyrics by Hal David

BEST FIGHT SCENE
Bond versus Grant on the train in From Russia With Love

MOST GRIPPING CHASE
The ski chase and subsequent cat-and-mouse in On Her Majesty's Secret Service

MOST IMPRESSIVE STUNTWORK
Both the skiing and the photography of the ski chase in On Her Majesty's Secret Service

BEST MAIN TITLE SEQUENCE
Diamonds Are Forever by Maurice Binder

COOLEST MAIN TITLE SEQUENCE
Goldeneye by Daniel Kleinman

WORST MAIN TITLE SEQUENCE
Lisence to Kill by Maurice Binder (a very rushed job)

SEXIEST BOND GIRL
Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress) in Dr. No

MOST APPEALING BOND GIRL
Tracey (Diana Rigg) in On Her Majesty's Secret Service

BEST PRE-TITLE SEQUENCE
From Russia With Love

WORST PRE-TITLE SEQUENCE
For Your Eyes Only

BEST VILLIAN MOTIVATIONS
Goldfinger's almost sexual desire for gold in Goldfinger
Alec Trevelyan's background in Goldeneye

BEST GADGET
"Little Nellie," the autogiro in You Only Live Twice (actually designed and operated by Kenneth H. Wallace)

THE ONLY TIME Q GETS OVERSHADOWED
Scaramanga has all the best toys in The Man With the Golden Gun

BEST BLOW-OFF
Bond's dismissal of the sexual desirability of Fiona Volpe (Luciana Paluzzi) in Thunderball

BEST CONTACTS
Ali Kerim Bey (Pedro Armedariz) in From Russia With Love
Tiger Tanaka (Tetsuro Tamba) in You Only Live Twice

MOST ANNOYING STORY ELEMENT
The supernatural aspect of Live and Let Die

BEST BOND CAR
The Aston Martin DB5 seen from Goldfinger through On Her Majesty's Secret Service

MOST USEFUL BOND CAR
The aquatic Lotus Esprit in The Spy Who Loved Me

BEST FELIX LEITER
Rik Van Nutter in Thunderball

WORST FELIX LEITER
David Hedison in Live and Let Die and License to Kill

BEST RECURRING CHARACTER
Boris Valentin (Robbie Coltrane)

WORST RECURRING CHARACTER
Sheriff J.W. Pepper (Clifton James)

BEST USE OF LOCATIONS
Istanbul in general, St. Sophia in particular in From Russia With Love
The statue graveyard with icons of Soviet communism in Goldeneye

BEST VILLIAN REVERSAL
Gorbinda (Kabir Bedi) remains menacingly silent throughout all of Octopussy until he is ordered by Kamal Khan (Louis Jourdan) to go outside the plane to get Bond off; suddenly he whimpers out a terrified, "Out there!?!"

WORST ONE-LINER
"Christmas comes only once a year," from The World is Not Enough

MOST REALISTIC "DIRTY BUSINESS"
Kamran Shah (Art Malik) trading opium for arms for the mujahaddin in The Living Daylights

BEST MURDERS
Jill Masterson (Shirley Eaton) painted gold in Goldfinger
Anything by Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd in Diamonds Are Forever

BEST MacGUFFINS
The Lektor in From Russia With Love
The ATAC in For Your Eyes Only
The Faberge eggs in Octopussy

WORST MacGUFFINS
Stolen space shuttles (!) in Moonraker

FUNNIEST MONEYPENNY SCENES
M admonishing her for listening in on Bond's taped report in From Russia With Love
The delivery of "Take it, my dear. It's all you'll ever get from him," said to her new assistant Penelope Smallbone (Michaela Clavell) who is presented with flowers from Bond in Octopussy
Her use of the virtual reality device in the finale of Die Another Day

BEST EXCHANGES
Bond: What, do you expect me to talk?
Goldfinger: Why, no, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die.
...and...
Pussy Galore: My name is Pussy Galore.
Bond: I must be dreaming.
...both from Goldfinger

MOST NATURAL REACTION BY AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER TO BOND'S INSANITY
Mrs. Bell's (Ruth Kempf) perfectly delivered, "Holy shit!" in Live and Let Die

MOST DEJA VU
Moonraker, with plot elements recycled from You Only Live Twice and The Spy Who Loved Me
(Never Say Never Again A.K.A. Thunderball Redux doesn't count)

MOST FLEMING MOMENT IN THE POST-FLEMING TITLES
Bond stroking Elektra's hair after dishing out her just desserts in The World Is Not Enough

MOST POINTED POLITICAL BARB
Bond's comments about Swiss bankers in The World Is Not Enough

MOST POETIC MOVE
Bond throwing the ATAC off the cliff so nobody gets it, saying "That's detente, Comrade," to General Gogol (Walter Gotell) in For Your Eyes Only

FUNNIEST REFRENCES TO PREVIOUS BONDS
George Lazenby's endearing "This never happened to the other fella" in On Her Majesty's Secret Service
The shooting of the Roger Moore and George Lazenby look-alikes at the beginning of The Living Daylights

NICEST TRIBUTE TO DESMOND LEWELLYN/SERIES CONTINUITY
All of the classic gadgets from the early Connery films seen in the background of Q labs in Die Another Day

Tags: cinema, james bond, john barry, lists
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