"Beware the Moon"

David
Aw, please... don't rain!!! Of course!!!

Jack
Oh, David....

David
Yes, I'm well aware of how pleasant the weather is in Rome at present time, thank you.

Jack
(singing)
Santa Lucia...

David
(joining in)
Santa Lucia...

David and Jack
(singing)
Santa Lucia, Santa Lucia...

David
(fake Italian accent)
It's-a cold and-a wet out here!!!

A wailing howl is heard.

Jack
Did you hear that?

David
I heard that.

Jack
What was it?

David
It could be a lot of things.

Jack
Yeah...?

David
A coyote.

Jack
There aren't any coyotes in England!

David
The Hound of the Baskervilles?

Jack
Pecos Bill?

David
Heathcliff!

Jack
Heathcliff didn't howl!

David
No, but he was on the moors.

Jack
It's a full moon!!!

David and Jack
Beware the moon!!!

David
...and stick to the road.

Both boys look down and realize that they left the road a while ago.

David
Oops...

The howl once again echoes through the fog.

Jack
I vote we go back to the Slaughtered Lamb.

David
Yeah!

They turn around and begin running.

David
(frantically looking around)
Hey, wait a minute... we're lost!

The howl is heard again... but louder.

Jack
Aw, shit, David, what is that!?!

David
I don't know, come on...

Jack
Come on where?

David
Anywhere, I think we should just keep moving.

A growl is heard... very close. The boys begin to back up.

David
It's moving...

Jack
It's circling us!

An angry growl.

Jack
Ah, fuck!

David
What's the plan?

Jack
Plan?

David
Let's just keep walking... that's right, a lovely stroll on the moors. Tra la la la la... isn't this fun?

Two more growls are heard.

David
It's in front of us.

Jack
Do you think it's a dog?

A howl.

Jack
Oh shit, what is it?

David
Maybe it's a sheep dog or something... come on, turn slowly, let's just walk away.

Jack
Nice doggie, good boy.

David
Come on, Jack, walk away.

Jack
Walking away, yes, here we are, walking away...