Are you Captain Lincoln Sternn?
Lincoln Sternn, you stand accused of 12 counts of murder, 14 counts of armed theft of Federation property, 12 counts of piracy, 6 counts of fraud, 4 counts of rape, and one moving violation.
How do you plead?
Not guilty? Are you nuts?
It's okay. I've got an angle.
Call the first witness!
He's got you cold! You're as guilty as a cat in a goldfish bowl.
The prosecution calls Hanover Fiste!
Change the plea to guilty. Throw yourself on the court's mercy.
I told you, I've got an angle.
We can only hope to bury you in secrecy so your grave isn't violated. Plead guilty!
Shut up. I've got an angle.
(motions towards Fiste)
State your name for the record.
I am Hanover Fiste.
Do you know the defendant?
Yes, I know Captain Sternn. He is most kind and generous.
(whispering to his lawyer)
I promised him 500 zulaks to testify on my behalf.
He is a cup overflowing with the cream of human goodness. I have never known him to do anything immoral.
Unless maybe the Preschooler's Prostitute Ring.
And he has never done anything illegal.
(angry once more)
Unless you count all the times he sold dope disguised as a nun.
He has always been a good, law-abiding citizen ...
(suddenly breaking completely)
Aw, gimme a break!
... of the Federation ...
Shut up! Shut up!
A community-conscious individual.
Sternn?! He is just a low-down, double-dealing, backstabbing, larcenous, perverted worm!
Hanging's too good for him!
Burning's too good for him!
He should be torn into little pieces and buried alive!
I haven't watched Heavy Metal in years. To be frank, I can't stomach it anymore. But the score is real good and there are some moments like this one that are still hilarious.