Joshua Gizelt (swashbuckler332) wrote,
Joshua Gizelt

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This was yoinked from both j_d_finch and suitboyskin:

You paid attention during 80% of high school!

68-84% Pretty good, you know that there are libraries and newspapers, and you remember what you've read. You were a child that wasn't left behind!

Do you deserve your high school diploma?
Create a Quiz

It was the math questions that tripped me up. Everything else was pretty easy. Okay, there was the dangling modifier, but here I plead for a saving throw...

And from suitboyskin:

  1. Someone knocks on your door at 2 a.m., who do you want it to be?
    Er... Natassja Kinski... with a big slice of cheesecake?

  2. Your boss tells you he/she will give you a $20 raise if you'll sleep with him?
    I think he was really trying to hint at such a thing the other day...

  3. Put yourself in a nutshell.
    At the moment: alone.

  4. Ever seen a ghost?
    I called the professionals. Their courteous and effecient staff was on call twenty-four hours a day for all of my paranormal elimination needs. They were ready to believe me.


  5. Happy with your body?
    I wouldn't mind if there were a bit less of it.

  6. A reason you would move to Iceland:
    They wouldn't think it strange that I was wearing a Viking helmet in a restaurant.

  7. A place you've lived that you miss:
    Nowhere, really. I've only ever lived in New York.

  8. A job you would never do, no matter how much you were paid?
    Anything to do with slugs. Yech.

  9. A band/group you thought was cool when you were 13:
    I don't think I thought much of anything was cool when I was 13.

  10. You have a nightmare, who's the first person you think to call?
    I have nightmares so rarely I couldn't imagine.

  11. Wanna have kids before you're 30?
    Do you have a Delorean outfitted with a flux capacitor that I might use to make the attempt?

  12. You in love?

  13. Ever had a crush on one of your friend's parents?

  14. Do you have a deep, dark secret?
    I did, once. It's not much of a secret these days.

  15. Do you look more like your mom, or your dad?
    I look most like my paternal grandfather... well, exactly like my paternal grandfather. So I have more resemblance with my father.

  16. Something you've always wanted to learn how to do:
    Raise money for my films.

  17. Still friends with your exes?
    One of them.

  18. Where you'd like to be in 10 years:

  19. Something you learned about yourself this year?
    I'm not really in a position where I can answer that right now.

  20. What do you want for your birthday?
    I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it may incriminate me.

  21. What color are your toenails?
    They are my flesh tone, though glossy.

  22. Last person you talked with on the phone?

  23. Do you own anything with a skull on it?
    Hmm... technically there is a skull in each xenomorph... um... my Evil Dead 2 laserdisc (which is blood red, by the way)... er... my head?

  24. Have you traveled Europe?

  25. Name four or five people that you trust.
    whosamama, suitboyskin, jailnurse, waystone, aerolyndt, melancthe... there are others, too.

  26. Last movie you watched?
    The first half of The Fellowship of the Ring.

  27. Where were you when you first made out with someone?
    A bar.

  28. Last board game you played?
    Risk: The World Domination Game. Fuck yeah!

  29. Leather or lace?
    I have a leather jacket, so...

  30. Ever had a black eye?

  31. Where do you rent your movies?

  32. Have you ever worn fishnet stockings?
    No. Have you?

  33. Do you have a crush on someone?

  34. Does he/she know?

And now for something completely different...

A man with three buttocks!


I have with me Mr Arthur Frampton who... (pause) Mr. Frampton, I understand that you - um - as it were... (pause) Well let me put it another way. Erm, I believe that whereas most people have - er - two... Two.

Frampton: Oh, sure.


Ah well, er, Mr Frampton. Erm, is that chair comfortable?


Fine, yeah, fine.


Mr Frampton, er, vis a vis your... (pause) rump.


I beg your pardon?


Your rump.




Er, your derriere. Posterior. Sit-upon.


What's that?


Your buttocks.


Oh, me bum!


Sshhh! Well now, I understand that you, Mr Frampton, have a 50% bonus in the region of what you say.


I got three cheeks.


Yes, yes, excellent, excellent. Well we were wondering, Mr Frampton, if you could see your way clear to giving us a quick visual... Mr Frampton, would you take your trousers down?


What? 'Ere, get that away! I'm not taking me trousers down on television. What do you think I am?


Please take them down.




No, er look, er Mr Frampton. It's quite easy for somebody just to come along here claiming... that they have a bit to spare in the botty department. The point is, our viewers need proof.


I've been on Persian Radio ... Get off! Arthur Figgis knows I've got three buttocks...
Not the best Friday I've ever experienced, but I'm feeling much better now.
Tags: memes, monty python, movie moments
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