THERE'LL BE NAKED CHICKS THERE!
WE'LL THROW FOOD AT 'EM!"
The Tuesday that History came out, a radio station called the store to publicize the album. They got Douchebag. The only reason he was never penalized for this was because they forgot to identify themselves when they got him on the phone.
DONOVAN: Hello, Tower Records, can I help you?This was broadcast live.
CALLER: Hello, we were wondering how the new Michael Jackson album History is doing.
DONOVAN: Not too well. In fact, this copy right now is the first one I'm selling.
CALLER: (disappointed) Oh... well, why do you think that might be?
DONOVAN: I don't know, maybe because Michael Jackson sucks now?
CALLER: (uncomfortable laugh) Okay, thank you.
DO YOU SMELL WEED?"
"NO, YOU DIDN'T."
"MAYBE I DIDN'T"
Two little girls that made a video to enter into the Marilyn Manson video contest. I don't know what they were thinking. Eleven-year-olds shaking their asses into a camera to the tune of "Sweet Dreams are Made of This." Not the most persuasive entry, I would think...
Marty: (wondering why a bunch of us were sitting in Layne's office) What's going on in here?
Buckler: We got your mom in here naked.
The sign Lenny wrote and posted on the TicketMaster when the Bush babies were waiting overnight to see Bush...
One of the girls at Yogurt N' Sluts gave Charlié, one of our security guards, a tab of acid on his break. He'd never done it before and didn't know that's what she gave him, and he spent the rest of the day tripping in recieving. He watched the hand trucks dance and the picture of Jackie Chan that Jerry had over his desk try to punch him out.
Gabor, the heroin addict that George the security guard nabbed. He made a break for it out the back door of recieving, but he was captured by an off-duty cop. When brought back into the store and restrained, he was shouting "I have a weak heart! You're stepping on my heart!!!"
Layne had a picture of herself on the wall in a pool somewhere. Every week we added a shark fin and some people coming out of her mouth.
YOU END UP IN THE TRASH"
Cross posted to MySpace.