Joshua Gizelt (swashbuckler332) wrote,
Joshua Gizelt
swashbuckler332

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"Ching-wao tsao duh liou mahng!"

And now for some Conan humor...

BOTH WORK SAFE


Conan the Librarian


Conan the Ravearian








what fucked version of hello kittie are you?



More stupid surveys...

1. Do you wear a name tag at work?
No, but I do have an ID card I keep in my pocket.

2. What kind of car do you drive?
A Saturn something or other sedan.

3. What do you order when you go to Taco Bell?
Whatever strikes my fancy at the time.

4. Have you ever had a garage sale?
I helped my parents out with one just before they moved last year. With a huge hangover, too.

5. What is more difficult for you; looking into someone’s eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone’s eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
I tend to look into people's eyes when I'm talking to them in the first place. I only can't meet their gaze if I'm really embarrassed about anything.

6. What are your favorite pair of shoes?
Sandals.

7. What is the significance of your MySpace song?
Originally it was the Chinatown theme, signifying both my respect for the film and my love for the music of Jerry Goldsmith. I then replaced it with a Jerry Goldsmith playlist, but the hosting site was taken down. Now I got nothin'.

8. Do you suck the helium out of balloons?
Oh hell's yes. I suck it all out and say in that squeaky voice, "Remember kids, hugs not drugs."

9. What’s more important, trust or love?
Trust. Without trust there can't really be love.

10. What about lust or love?
Love. Lust will happen anyway. I'm very lustful. I just have nowhere to store my lust when I'm not using it.

11. Does love = sex?
Now that's just a stupid question.

12. What size is your bed?
Queen sized, quilted top.

13. Have you ever had pneumonia?
No, but I've had bronchitis.

14. What were you for Halloween last year?
I wasn't.

15. Do you always use your blinkers?
Yes.

16. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
I should hope so.

17. Do you have a ceiling fan in your room?
Yes. I rarely use it because it swings so wildly, it scares me.

18. Pick one person. If you could give this person anything, what would it be?
I think that I would have loved to get suitboyskin his rancor as an engagement present.

19. Have you ever been to Nebraska?
No.

20. Have you ever been to a full service gas station?
Yes, I have been to New Jersey.

21. Was missing....

22. What color is your iPod?
Ahem. My iAudio X5 is black.

23. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?
The latter.

24. Has your older brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted?
I don't have any older siblings, of if I had, my parents ate them before I was old enough to remember.

25. What do you want for your birthday?
My birthday/Chanukah/Christmas wish this year is a combo Blu-Ray, HD-DVD player.

26. What is your favorite keychain on your keys?
My keychain is purely utilitarian.

27. What did you get for graduation?
A lot of grief about saving up for car insurance. In fact, my parents were so annoying about it that I didn't drive for many years just out of spite.

28. What's your biggest stress right now?
My apartment is becoming a big mess and I'm too lazy to clean it.

29. What is something you’re hoping for?
It involves somebody on my friends list.

30. What made you mad today?
Nothing yet. The day is still young.

31. Who introduced you to Dane Cook?
Who? I'm sure he played some forgettable role in some forgettable film I've seen, but I forgot.

32. Who was your prom date?
I didn't go to prom, nor have I been on many dates for that matter.

33. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, if you HAD to, even if you have "no regrets" what would you change?
I can honestly say I wouldn't know where to start. Maybe in first grade...

34. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear?
Bears reproduce seasonally, usually after a period of inactivity similar to hibernation. The cubs remain with the mother for approximately three years, until she enters the next cycle of estrus and drives the cubs off. Bears reach sexual maturity in five to seven years.

35. What DVD is in your DVD player?
The Firefly series and the new issue of Serenity.

36. What's something fun you did today?
Listened to Craig Safan's The Last Starfighter.

37. Do you forgive and forget?
I forgive. I don't forget much.

38. Who was the principal of your high school?
The most anal retentive Bertram L. Linder (Underground readers chuckler here).

39. Has your house ever been TP'd??
Good heavens, no.

40. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. Who do you call?
I'd really not be that worried. It's probably just my landlord coming home.

41. What are you listening to right now?
The score for Starship Troopers by Basil Poledouris.

42. If you could have anyone with you right now, who would it be?
Someone on my friends list.

43. Where is that person?
Far, far away.

44. When is your mom's birthday?
July.

45. Who is your last dialed call to?
suitboyskin

46. Who is your last received call from?
suitboyskin (t'was some phone tag)

47. Who is your last missed call from?
My grandmother (I got back to her).

48. When is your birthday?
Last month.

49. What's the area code for your cell phone?
516

50. What did you get for Valentine's Day?
Jack and shit!

51. Are you old fashioned?
In some ways. Not in most.

52. Where did you buy the shirt you are wearing right now?
Online somewhere.

53. Why is your favorite holiday your favorite?
Pesach. In addition to being a fun holiday with one of the better biblical stories behind it (freeing slaves! Yay!), I've always been fascinated by how pedantic the Haggadah is. It can be a great source of amusement.

And matzoh balls should be hard, not soft.

54. Is there anything hanging from your rearview mirror?
A dead air freshener. "You find one in every car... you'll see."

55. Who was the first person you talked to this morning?
Not counting myself, my co-worker Charlie.

56. Favorite class last year?
I graduated two years ago.

57. How are you different than you were this time last year.
This was about the time last year when we found out my grandfather was dying. I'm feeling somewhat more positive about things in general this year.

58. What kind of milk do you drink?
I usually don't drink milk straight up. I do drink chocolate milk. I use whole milk in my cereal and half and half in my coffee.

59. What are you going to do after this?
Write a bunch of phone numbers on our dry erase board.

60. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a heart break or have never loved before?
Don't ask me that. Please.

61. Who was the last person you went shopping with?
I went to Best Buy with Raz.

62. What made you laugh the hardest today?
Conan the Ravearian (see above).

63. Describe the person you like in 3 words:
Sexy, smart, fun.

64. What is your favorite fruit?
I don't have any one single favorite, but I did have an apple this morning.

65. What about your favorite dessert?
Something involving chocolate no doubt.

66. If someone wanted to cook you a romantic dinner, what should they make?
Pasta.

67. What is something you need to go shopping for?
Jeans.

68. Do you know the words to “We Didn’t Start the Fire?”
I'm a geek, I haven't been in a coma for fuck's sake.

69. Do you have the same name as one of your relatives?
The same Hebrew name, yes.

70. What kind of car do your siblings drive?
My brother is too young to drive.

71. Do you have bumper stickers on your car?
No, but I want to get one of those Darwin fish.

72. Do you like pickles?
Of course! Kosher sour pickles are the bomb!

73. How about olives?
I love 'em! Especially the green ones stuffed with garlic or bleu cheese!

74. What is your favorite kind of gum?
I don't usually chew gum.

75. What do you see happening with your relationship status in the near future?
We'll see.

76. What’s a song lyric you like?
When I was a child, I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye,
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now,
The child is grown, the dream is gone
77. What is your favorite kind of juice?
Orange juice.

78. Do you have any tan lines?
I have a farmer's tan. I don't do much sunning because I tend to skip over the tanning part and go straight to crisping.

79. What are you doing right now?
This survey.

80. Where will you be on your next birthday?
I don't know.

81. What’s your worst habit?
Coming into work late.

82. What’s your best quality?
Loyalty.

83. What s the most productive thing you did today?
...er...

84. What are you doing tomorrow?
Working. Possibly seeing Dan in the evening.

Whats your name?
Josh.

Who do you love?
Wouldn't you like to know?

What do people do while you're driving that's so annoying?
Be stupid taking out and putting in the stereo. It's not that difficult. Really.

Where do you work?
Manhattan.

Who do you talk to most of the time?
Co-workers, friends. Is this a trick question?

Say something in a different language.
Mangia.

Do you consider yourself a good friend?
Yes.

Do you hate anybody right now?
Not at the moment. Give me a few hours and I'm sure I'll have some names for you, though.

What do you do on the weekends?
Different things. That's why it's the weekend.

Favorite color?
Blue.

Name 6 people that would always be there for you no matter what?
jailnurse, suitboyskin, Dan, whosamama and my brother.

Do you drink a lot of water?
I do.

What kind of car do you have?
Once again, it's some kind of Saturn sedan.

How old are you?
33

Who's your favorite person in your family?
"Even bad men love their mommas."

What states have you lived in?
New York.

Do you miss your friends?
Yes.

Whats your middle name?
Michael.

Do you think your name is different than others?
It's a name.

How old is your hubby?
I've been actively collecting film music since 1990.

Whats your favorite present you've ever gotten?
When I was a kid, my mother got me the Millenium Falcon action playset. It was and remains the best present I ever have gotten.

What would be a perfect day to you?
It would have a lot of music, movies, chocolate and sex in it.

What was a bad day for you?
A day that has no music, movies, chocolate or sex.

Using the letters in your name make something up about you...
Jocular
Occular
Stimulation
Hallucination

Do you miss someone right now?
Yes.

Do you enjoy your job?
Parts of it.

Do you have a lot of friends?
Yes... but they're spread out all over the place now.

Somewhere you wish to go?
Hawaii, maybe.

Name 3 things that starts with an L?
Lions, lights, longpork.

Do you like taking pictures?
Not really. Dunno.

Do you think anyone is thinking about you right now? ?
I sure hope so.

What color is your car?
Bronze Mist. I'm serious, that's what it says in the brochure.

Name something good to happen in your life?
FSM, Intrada, Varese.

Name 5 numbers?
3263827. If anybody knows what that is, they get a cookie.

Do you prefer to dress up or casual?
Casual. Though I did love my tuxedo. The one day I got to wear it.

Favorite club?
Varese Sarabande CD club.

Hot or cold?
Cold. I can always put on another sweater. After you remove a few layers of clothing, the police start hassling you.

Name 10 things that describes you?
Cynical, verbose, writer, bearded, critic, strange, geek, filmmaker, loyal, compassionate, modest. ;)

Do you think anyone will re post this?
Probably not.
1. Is your second toe longer than your first?
Yes, I have Morton's toe. And damn proud of it.

2. Do you have a favorite type of pen?
The gel ones.

3. Look at your planner for March 14, what are you doing?
Nothing as of yet.

4. What color are your toenails usually?
They are primarily flesh colored, with white crescents towards the knuckle side.

5. What was the last thing you highlighted?
Pete's answers to this survey, as I typed over them. Duh.

6. What color are your bedroom curtains?
They're Venetian blinds.

7. What color are the seats in your car?
Tan.

8. Have you ever had a black and white cat?
No... my father had an adorable cat that was black and white named Ashes, though.

9. What is the last thing you put a stamp on?
Packages to mortimusmonk, waystone and glenniebun.

10. Do you know anyone who lives in Wyoming?
No.

11. Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?
So I could pay for my lunch yesterday.

12. Whose is the last baby that you held?
jailnurse's daughter Kyra.

13. What do you struggle with?
Laziness. Although I wouldn't think 'struggle' is exactly the best term for this.

14. Do you like Cinnamon toothpaste?
It tried it... it just felt weird leaving my home with my mouth tasting like that.

15. What kind of car were you driving 2 years ago?
The same one I'm driving now.

16. Pick one: Miami Hurricanes or Florida Gators?
What the living fuck are you talking about?

17. Last time you went to Six Flags?
It's been quite a while, actually.

18. Do you have any wallpaper in your house?
No.

19. Closest thing to you that is yellow?
The dry erase calender.

20. Last person to give you a business card?
I can seriously not recall.

21. Who is the last person you wrote a check to?
My landlord.

22. Closest framed picture to you?
There are no framed pictures in our hangout.

23. Last time you had someone cook for you?
jailnurse cooked for me on Tuesday.

25. How many emails do you have?
A shitton.

26. Last time you gave flowers to someone? and who was it?
I have never given flowers to anybody. Which part of this whole "rarely date" thing don't you understand?

27. Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man & woman?
Marriage is for two consenting adults, the makeup of which is not for anybody else to decide for people.

29. Has anyone ever proposed to you?
No. Hell, I've only been propositioned once. Well, twice if you count that creature in college.

30. Do you take anything in your coffee?
Sugar, half and half and cinnamon. Ice, in the summer.

31. Do you have any Willow Tree figurines?
Why would I want a figurine of a tree?

32. What is/was your high school's rival mascot?
Did Cardozo even have a rival?

33. Last person you spoke to from high school?
jailnurse.

34. Last time you used hand sanitizer?
Last week. I mean, other than Dove (which I use daily).

35. Would you like to learn to play the drums?
I have no rhythm whatsoever.

36. What color is your dog?
My parents' dog Willie is brown and white with a pencil eraser nose and a long, pink tongue. He loves me.

38.Last thing you read in the newspaper?
"Third Amendment Rights Group Celebrates Another Successful Year" (I read The Onion).

39. What was the last pageant you attended?
I've never been to a pageant ever in my life. Ever.

40. What is the last place you bought pizza from?
The pizza joint on Hollis Court road. It ain't Umberto's, but it is better than most of the crappy pizza that's around these days. I'm a pizza snob, see.

41. Have you ever worn a crown?
...upon a troubled brow? Other than my "Conan the King" user icon (see above), no.

42. Did you ever drink clear Pepsi?
No.

43. What is the last thing you stapled?
I can't remember. I use clips for the most part.

44. Are you ticklish?
Um... no! Not at all! Don't bother trying, 'cause I'm very much NOT TICKLISH.

45. Last time you saw fireworks?
Last month, for Independence Day.

46. Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?
A few weeks ago.

47. Who is the last person that left you a message & you actually returned it?
My grandmother.

48. Last time you parked under a carport?
What is a carport.

49. Do you have a black dog?
No. But Indiana was black, but for a small patch on his chest and one foot.

50. Have you had your mid life crisis yet?
Not yet. It's coming.

51. Are you an aunt or uncle?
Unofficial uncle for jailnurse's daughters.

52. Who has the best smile?
melancthe.

53. Who has the prettiest eyes that you know?
Ibid.

54. Last time you used a phonebook?
Jeez... that's crazy talk!

55. What do you despise?
Pineapple. Coconut in sweet foods. Hans Zimmer and his Media Ventures/Remote Control slaves. Fundamentalists of all creeds.
'Ching-wao tsao duh liou mahng' means "frog-humping son of a bitch. The things you learn from watching Firefly...
Tags: cinema, conan, memes, movie funnies, movie moments
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